12
Jul

Religion Made Us Cringe Machines! (feat Kyle Curtis)



animal it would be based on is that what it's called really a persona mm-hmm I can't keep up anymore Jimmy I really can't obviously all these terms I can't do it yeah would your first on Naveen I hope it would be a lion based on my hair I think it what did she think it would be a garbage ferret a garbage ferret yes that's hilarious yes it literally calls me a garbage bears on the street my size you know I didn't know how to react to that normally what we should do in future weeks is just send me all of yours do you keep all of your thumbnails separated by like when you use them at all I do too I have basically each week has its own folder if you want to just on before we go live on Sundays send me your week of thumbnails we can still do the same slideshow thing and then I'll see if info wants to make a song for the two of us or we'll figure out something else you just put like the cancel bars in for mine to shuffle been through and then we play the song age all over but the crying I am I love this self-pity welcome everybody to a new episode of what's this show called again Kyle this show is called independence gay reloaded that's true we missed it this week and to tell you the truth I was a little bit sad I it is my fault because I didn't message you until like two or three hours to when we would have gone live but I thought I thought independence gay to was happening for sure and then it didn't and I was a little well it's it's happening just not on Independence Day right we'll be like we're still independent we're still gay well some of us like pans to oh my god I need to just always wear my it's not about cookware shirts when I when I'm on with you you know my short-term memory yeah you won't remember unless you see it graphically represented on my on my shirt the pan the kitchen things obvious like I think I went a creative like step and beyond when I went with like you have an unhealthy obsession with Peter Pan right that he is that's my thing like you are you you love people in green tights and Tinker Bell's well I mean I definitely growing up had some crushes on some Tinker Bell's so that's see yeah that's true I even dated a Tinkerbell cosplayer oh not to Mack a few years back now so I guess I mean there's something there but it's it's still it's still a different it's I'm more of a Tinkerbell sexual than a then so Peter Pan's actually I'm not wrong no you are you are definitely wrong about what pansexual means that's for sure that's that's just completely because nobody makes the do they does anyone make that joke about pantheists that are like oh so you worship cookware probably somebody that sounds it's gotta be if not that needs to be a thing cuz that's hilarious yeah I mean you know as a former chef I could have considered myself a penis or a pot theist or a stove theist or a knife theist a former chef a former chef by the way who denied the divinity of air frying okay suppose you mean I were talking before the show he mentioned an air fryer my mother and I today had a a really big argument about air fryers now I was watching on Sundays I usually go up to my grandmother's house and we we have lunch and then you know we're just sitting around watching TV and there's I'm watching CNN and this commercial comes on for the ASPCA was got the dogs to shake whatever and so I can't do that and I die for the remote and just hit the channel up button and it falls on this QVC channel where they're pushing this smokeless the smokeless grill now one thing about this too is there is it really necessary to have two people on there because watching this it's so cheesy and there's always some person that's just going oh yeah oh you just described our show what are you putting there well we many two people I didn't want to disparage you like that but let me have another character though – OH but anyway so they're talking about this thing or whatever and they they then cut to the like what you get or like oh well you know it's not $300 it's not $200 it's only four easy payments of $39.99 and on top of that you get a cookbook and on top of that you get a lid that goes on top of this and if you call within the next 15 minutes they're gonna throw in an air fryer so you get the air fryer for free now my mom goes oh that's a really good deal and I said no that's not a really good deal because the air fryers were invented by people who sat around in a boardroom and went you know what we literally can sell anything to these people because they'll buy it and what happened is they got stuck on a lot orders and so now they've realized that people are home to them that the airfryer suck and they're having to give it away with a smokeless grill which is you know to some sort of big like skillet because otherwise why would you need to throw them in the air for free I'm gonna send to myself well if the air fryer all this big wood instead if the air fryer did what it says it does on the TV why would they go oh you want this grill here have this air this air fryer yeah yeah listen I think that air fryer fryer was probably a bad air fryer but I will defend air fryers to the death and I will specifically defend I had an affiliate link in here because I don't I don't have an affiliate link for the ninja foodie but I what I have is actually something called it's called the ninja foodie and you you first pressure cook so it's amazing with chicken you pressure cooked chicken which makes it really really moist on the outside but as anybody who's ever pressure cooked chicken and not not then seared it afterwards or fried it on a pan it it's it's too wet it's too chewy and this machine the only thing I have to do is change the lid and if there is water leftover you drain the water though if you use the right amount you don't have to worry about that so you pressure cook it you get this moist thing you change the lid you turn the air fryer on and now you have delicious and crispy on the outside and moist as all fucking hell on the inside chicken and I I love I love air fryers they are amazing here's the deal what I hate doing this but when I'm wrong I'm wrong I went on the internet because I told my mother I said I'm gonna show you I'm gonna go online and I'm going to see the reviews and I'm going to show you that people have our own to this now the reviews online are very positive for these air fryers however they need to change the fucking name so I know you cannot fry with air that's okay so the reason why they call it is with a lot of stuff you will actually coat it in just a little bit of oil you're not deep frying it in oil but you'll coat a little bit of oil and then the airfryer is it because it's convection it's attacking from the outside first and that makes like a crispy outer layer so the whole reason it's called an air fryer is if I made you chicken tenders in it the closest thing to something you had experienced before would be fried chicken tenders and with some stuff like with breaded chickens and things that as far as reheating also like say you have french fries that you put in the fridge because you took it as a to-go box reheating things that were fried in the first place also amazing but that it's in other words they call it that based on its most similar experience also it has a basket like a fryer does that you put down in it and yeah man it is it is I can fix this problem instead of calling it because it's not a deep fat fryer call it a lightly oiled fryer that is accurate it it it says exactly what the thing you know the steps that are involved and I have no confusion like I don't think that they're trying to hawk a machine that fries things with air because it's physically impossible to fry things with air no good name or is it you know how a convection oven works right yes but that's not frying so that's it is using air though it is pushing air and that's why it also is so fast is because it's going to give you 500 degrees of air blown down on it like like a fucking superheated a leaf blower and that sounds not appealing but really more accurate like all your dinners will never be more juicy when you try this superheated leaf blower I could get into that cuz yeah you know but my mind what's what's going on listen companies that make these change the you will sell a lot more and you won't have to give them away with a stupid smokeless skillet literally this skillet has a vacuum in it that sucks in the Smurfs the real indoors it's a reverse fryer is what I'm I'm watching this I'm like the IMP the point of grilling is your outside and innocent experience no one wants to do that inside fuzzy bears evil is suggesting would you would you like it if it was called a convection fryer would that work better for you is it the fryer thing that you're stuck on yeah it's the fryer thing like I can get I could get more behind that I think that's yeah I could get more behind that I just don't like the term air fryer I think it's it's insulting to to consumers I think I think you just have to try it first of all you used to used to be a chef so try cooking with it and and then actually try the food and I think you will realize the whole thing is not only are they is it that the food is like fried food that's what it's the most like and will most resemble it's meant to be like hey Jimmy snow you know how you're eating deep-fried food way too much well what if we gave you an alternative and it is it's extremely it's it's really good in fact in in talking now I've decided I'm going to make hot wings in my in my air fryer with pressure cooker tonight I tell you those chefs like we're very very skeptical for the most part of using these sort of products they sort of like gimmicky you know like new-age like you know the remember that spit roaster thing that used to look like the guy would be on TV every Sunday morning and shoving these big steel things into these turkeys and it would rotate on the back and it oh yeah like yeah you know like there's just something about that it feels like it's cheating to me you know what I mean like if I'm gonna eat some if I want wings I'm gonna commit you know what I mean grow them sons of bitches in gallons of oil that has not been changed in a week that it's right everything else just commit commit I you and I have clearly very different metabolisms I didn't usually before we oh that's right you've shown me pictures even before we jump into today's topic because as anyone who's figured out with anytime Kyle and I are an air we will get around to the topic mainly most of the time I want to pitch what today's Twitter poll is and suggest as many people as possible it'll be running for another I think it's got 20 almost another 24 hours I have 23 and a half hours left on it over on Twitter if you're not already following me on Twitter it's at dear mr. atheist this is something I genuinely want to know and and let's actually start off with I want I want to give people I want to see if the live chat without so if you've already seen it don't guess and don't don't say I want to give you the question without the subject and with the answers and I want to see how many people can successfully guess what the question is about so here's the question with the subject removed how many blank have you had in your life the options are none /c results less than 100 101 to 5,000 or more than 5,000 and that that question is a food item we're talking about something that no people have had lots of damn it let me I was gonna say what would your answer be Jimmy if you had to answer this poll question without saying what it is what would I have guessed before no what would you how would you answer like what number would you say like in the oceans for me I am 5,000 plus I have had more than 5,000 of this item before you said food item I was gonna say penis and then that would totally make sense for it is penis because it is a food item never never mMmmm no it's not penis I'm sorry everyone line we're so sorry that just happened please please like get that out of your mind that didn't happen we're moving on oh yeah we're talking and I'm looking at my live chat and no one is guessing correctly you all thank you fair though I I guess like nine things right incorrectly before I ever got it so Kyle what don't tell them what it is but which answer was it for you mine was the less than 100 so opposites and if you look at our body types I'll give you this hint obviously Kyle and I have had a significantly different number of carbs but while people are still guessing you know I'm a bitch about another thing because yeah but you a be the hint maybe you can give your live chat this hint on it's it's a it's a something that's near and dear to a lot of children right that's this word this which brings to you know we're enjoy the meal to know that you reminded me of that pissed me off when I was growing up when they came out with colored ketchup do you remember this when they had the pro a green and the green ketchup yeah yeah that was that was abhorrent it's worse than the air fryer that's a couple of people lives a couple people have guessed correctly so far so I'm giving it a little more time yes I remember a green and purple ketchup however I will tell you that growing up with so many siblings I'm up to 12 siblings now growing up Mormon only having a father who worked and my mother was a stay-at-home mother meant we were always on an incredible budget though found out when we were older that it was mostly the kids that held to that budget more but anyway we were always on an incredibly frugal budget and so we never got to experience those things because we had mostly the generic ketchup or I did you have a packet drawer growing up or like a place in the fridge where you put like extra ketchup packets you got from places and so yeah yeah yeah big-time hot sauces and stuff alright so it looks like finally the live chat is catching on yes it is peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to whoever wrote s'mores clearly you've watched everything I do and you know that I specific love s'mores however I doubt I'm above 5,000 I'm probably more in the like if I eat s'mores that often it would take it would take my love out of s'mores you know what I mean I love s'mores but I can have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day I and I did for years I have um I have something that I would like to read to you if I could sure yeah go ahead oh I want to see if you if you maybe you heard about this story which i think is absolutely incredible all right so here's the headline are you ready yeah man SUSE brewery after pink beer promotion made him feel forced to identify as a female now let me explain what happened because this is this is a this is a story that is that like both sides get each other okay so basically what you have are you have a brewery that is sort of trolling other beer companies and they come out with this pink beer that they're saying is for like women right and they're pushing this because beer they're saying that Oh we'll like other products beer companies aren't marketing essentially to women right so they're gonna be the beer that's doing this but they're trolling they're not surei spine right and so it wasn't even a breast cancer awareness month or I was literally just to say this is girly beer sure so they rent they run a promotion for a period of time where the beer is 550 usually if you're a woman though you can come up and you can get the beer for 450 you can get a dollar off the beer so this doctor okay he is a doctor he arrives at this brewery and he says I'd like the 450 beer I saw that you're advertising that I'd like that beer well the bartender and the owner tell him he can't have that because he's not a woman and they argued back and forth back and forth back and forth and the doctor said well you know what at this moment I identify as a female and he they had to he force their hand in giving them the beer because they didn't want to walk away being like oh well you know they didn't want that sort of you know right it's a trial trolling a troll but it's also still on the back of like the people who like to make the claims about like that gender change is something you totally arbitrarily come up there's everything about this story is so stupid yes it's unbelievably it's the duck it's almost as stupid as the album as the Alabama squirrel that was in the news last week did you see there what happened with this squirrel was a man that dealt drugs and the police were tipped off that he kept a an attack squirrel and the guy was feeding the squirrel meth for weeks and this squirrel was like tweaked out when they went into a and you should think the video it's it's it's awful actually they got the squirrel into rehab I guess and got him where he did you know I just wonder if the squirrel is out there like on a street corner going a man no recognize Lisa maybe some of that you know all the other scroll around looking for nuts you want me to hide you give me some meth and I'll hide your nuts he's looking for for ice I don't I can only imagine the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail with the rabbit that like Kev's keeps killing the the nights you know I'm talking about yeah that's what I'm imagining right now holy shit it's so it's so incredible it's amazing to me it didn't happen in Florida you know what though Alabama I'm I am I'm firm in this Alabama is the new Florida Alabama is taking over with would like all the shit would be a the abortion shit with the them taking off Arthur for having a gay episode with him having child predator who is banned from the fucking mall narrowly beating his opponent and then having the gall to say I'm really in the guy yeah from a fuck mall and he's running for I'll being creepy Alabama Alabama woody Alabama is the Florida of Florida for their craziest nation with a craziest state in the nation hold my peps bill Blue Ribbon that's what I hold my PBR PBR in college beers gross I there were some I liked when I could drink but beer in general is gross I was I was more of a whiskey guy on the rocks yeah I like a little bit of high notes to heart I like bills too hard a blessing about the only beer level I mean if I had to drink a beer like that was the situation because sometimes you show up to a barbecue and that's everything they have usually they'd had some most most barbecues end up having Bud Light with lime or I didn't mind a Barry Weiss byline and kugel because that just tastes like fruit fruit not fruit loops yeah fruit loops or or fruity pebbles and I also didn't mind putting a little bit of orange juice in a what's that one that's like really wheaty really hoppy Blue Moon a little orange and blue moon you strike me a sort of a um azeema guy never was a fan of Zima I was a fan of Seagram sevens makes a honey whiskey that's way better than the Jack Daniels honey whiskey really loved that and but if you're just talking about like liking girly drinks or what what people call girly drinks I loved loved me some Mike's hard but Mike's hard was almost more like a beverage like I'm thirsty not I'm trying my drunk woodchuck okay all right all right all right well we're talking about just just really quick I wrote this down because this is coming up in something that I'm gonna do but I'm gonna run through some just just like five of these just say that you you hear these these are still balls that are active in stars and then we will hit the topic we promise we're gonna start talking crazy stuff we said either just too good not to say okay in Arizona spitting on a sidewalk is illegal Colorado in where you are placing furniture outside of your home is illegal oh my god there are people on my street who need to hear that shit Indiana's sniffing blue for excitement this Tennessee sharing your Netflix password that's a new law it went into effect in 2011 you can be charged for that now here is the pinnacle of where Florida is going to say oh wait a minute Alabama you cannot take my place allow me to to show you our the craziest state in the Union okay now follow this with me in 1989 it was unanimously passed that and these are the words that are used in the law so this is not politically correct now but the dwarf throwing is banned and was banned in 1989 if you are cult throwing Dwarfs you will be but you will be charged $1000 and interestingly enough as crazy as that is it gets crazier in 2011 an attempt to reverse the law was made by a state senator because he said the government shouldn't decide how people make a living but prostitution still illegal that okay here's the thing it's not that we're saying Kyle and I are not saying that that law shouldn't have gone into effect we're not saying we don't support that law I think what we're pointing out is the absurdity that it was necessary correct there was a ratchet problem yes that's that that's exactly it the it was it was such an issue they are they had two grown men and women had to convene in a state cap right and go we have had enough throwing Dwarfs right we cannot have this anymore like what in the hell are you doing Florida like what and then a guy a guy said you know what I have an idea we need to reverse this the government should not tell people that they can't throw quote-unquote Dwarfs if so in Salt Lake City Utah it's illegal to carry this is what someone is saying so I haven't verified this it is illegal to carry around an unwrapped ukelele which to me means something super racist happened because what a lot of people don't know about Salt Lake City and Provo is they have a high Hawaiian and Polynesian audience or citizenship there because the Mormon Church has gone there and converted lots of people and they end up bringing them there for school and and it there's there's a higher population than a lot of places of Hawaiian and Polynesian people both being people who use ukuleles and I feel like that means that they are we're trying to basically ban Hawaiian culture in in Utah which wouldn't surprise me at all because anything that's not if it's Utah if it's not white it's not alright that's how you tie is yeah Mitt Romney yeah yep he is the he is despite not being from round there he is now the senator from Utah the man has good hair though I have to say yeah stellar hair stellar so in starting off this conversation about cringy things and people feel free yes this is kind of marketing if you have good examples that you want to throw in the Super chats we'll read them out obviously basically this is reminding you will read all the Super chats at the end of the show but in starting this conversation about cringy things the number one thing that I'm drawn to not as a specific example but growing up as a Mormon was the barrier testimony culture which is essentially like look for any opportunity you can to tell people using I know language that the church is true so you would be in situations where what it turned into like one of the cringy er times I can remember this happening what it turned into was being in a hotel room at 15 years old in Las Vegas on a trip for choir with three other individuals two of which were Mormon two of what myself and one other was Mormon and then two of which weren't and one of them had all of these good reasons why the church isn't true are the Mormon Church isn't and basically I got to the point where it's like it was like listen I hear all of your reasons I don't have answers ready for you right now but I do know that I can feel God in this room right now telling me not to worry about it and then I went right into the because I know the church is true I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet I know which the funny thing is is this conversation I'll start it up around the episode of South Park he wanted to know he was like hey by the way turns out these things were real and I would just sat there being like no no no no like haha South Park that's really really funny but not true that whole thing about the rocks in the Hat and him stuffing his face in the Hat that's not true come to find out years later that it was and I was going around fighting against as many Mormons were at that time going around fighting against this whole story of the rock not not not the rock but a rock in a hat that Joseph was putting his face into and that that was lighting up the words that needed to be written into the Book of Mormon we were going around fighting that all over the place I mean no that's not what happened he used the Urim and Thummim which are magic other things from the Bible and and he would the power of God translated the plates and he was looking at the plates and next to the words would show the correct words all of those kinds of things were we were out there defending come to find out years later after all of this I know the church is true I know Joseph Smith is a prophet I know that's not correct I know that these are anti-mormon lies and then the church finally admits to it or at least publicizes that it is true that that is how Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon and that's probably what makes me the cringe the most is how much I defended things even the church admitted to being wrong I I come to this like I cringe for you like I think you you in this situation like totally win the the cringe factor because yeah as bullshit as the Baptist's were in their faith like we knew that the Mormons were absolutely like Off Their Rockers like like just you know I remember I distinctly remember my Sunday school teacher someone brought a one of I was in I was in like middle school or something but um one of the people brought in a friend and the friend was a Mormon and so the little friend bless his heart had a like like he was going to stand his ground and say that you know he was gonna give us the the Mormons feel like yeah everything that we were talking about was wrong or whatever and so it sparked this whole thing and I remember the kid going yes um he Jesus came back and not many years ago those are the distinct words he used not many years ago and that's what I held on to and he talked about the golden tablets and meeting Jesus out in the and the the field and remember sitting there going this kids fucking insane like this is absolutely bonkers like you know like and I'm sure you you know looking back you you get that I right I I started out as an Independent Baptist like which is you take Southern Baptist if they're not conservative enough for you right you want to go more to the right Independent Baptist you know you couldn't dance like you thought Southern Baptists were going to hell yes and yeah and that's the thing like like we had so many sermons that talked about like Mormons Jehovah's Witnesses Catholics none of these people were Christian none of them right there was a debate of a big heated debate between people in the church on whether or not Episcopalians and Presbyterians would line up with that because the Baptist hoped the whole Baptist thing is that you have to be dumped into you know the the symbolic water and brought back up in anybody that's sprinkled or you know christened or anything like that was not following or obeying God's command and oddly enough I was baptized not once but twice the first time I was baptized and this is going to show you how deep into this I was nine years old and I was taken out to a swimming pool the pastor had a swimming pool literally an inground swimming pool and six of us were baptized in a swimming pool and then when I turned 15 and I started getting more into her I was like being a part of like you know I was I was teaching the youth group sometimes I said you know what I'm not gonna get into heaven because I was I was baptized in a swimming pool like I was that was then part of a church that had like the baptism or in in the survivors yeah and I had to have that because like there was no way God was gonna let me in with my chlorine stain yeah he'd himself so I was actually baptized so stupid ringing happens just like having just like the gyms that wants you to shower after you go into the pool also yeah it's sort of like you know the the knock off but you know you have the people who were who were baptized in the holy the Baptist mobile thing that's this library where you have the robe and you know the whole thing and I'm in in the middle of nowhere in North Carolina in a ground swimming pool literally with pool noodles around me is supposed to be having this bully you know experience and looking back on that I was like but I have to rectify this and I recant the pastor going look um it can you be baptized twice and he was like why do you why do you think you need to be baptized twice if once if your commitment it has you know remained with the Lord then you and I said no like this was in a pool and he was like oh that's it's a symbolic thing you know it's it's not like the water has you know I was like no you have to baptize me like I forced it on you and he was trying to tell me that you're gonna be okay like stop freaking out I was like I have to go to a have to a holy pool so in regarding to the like being a Baptist and thinking but everybody else it so my approach to that is first of all Mormons are more of a cult than most religions are but there's nothing individually about them that are actually that that is actually more bonkers except for the fact that so much of the stuff they believe in happened recently and it's like in in the modern era of written word like we have we have the records of Joseph Smith being convicted of being a charlatan for stone seeing basically pretending about these these same stones yet that happened to but these same stones that we keep in mind Mormons love that though they see him as a martyr they literally in their song call him in one of their songs call him a martyr Jimmy Jesus gonna come down to the poor fella and give me my fees go to Taos why is he gonna leave him to get shot in a in a saloon right somewhere by an angry mobs God just like well he spread the saloon it was a jail it was a jail and and even better and the final thing he does is basically make a I mean this is this is something that is part of the story so we can't know for sure happen but it seems likely the final thing he does is yell a Masonic phrase in the hopes that part of the mob who are there to kill him the ones that are bound by Masonic duty will will turn around and defend him but yeah it didn't work out for him so well but ya know he the the whole thing and these were the things I was defending against too and I just the number of times I can like I think back and I'm just like holy shit remember what I was just standing in front of this guy it was Authority saying no Joseph Smith was a good man and a prophet and a martyr and he was murdered in cold blood even though we haven't been told that we hadn't been told in the church about the people that he tried to have murdered the people he likely successfully had murdered the fact that he was trying to install a theocratic state like he was trying to a Mormons Mormons will now say that they think the Constitution was a God inspired document that it was written basically by the hand of God and that you should take it to be like any other holy book as well meanwhile Joseph's vision was to overthrow the American government and what he wanted to become a president the president he literally ran for president of the United States in an attempt to overthrow and install a Mormon theocracy and these are the things that I believed in and defended against and told people they were wrong about when they were literally just telling me the facts of history like the history as it actually occurred and I'm sitting there going well if that was true that would rattle my faith so it must not be true because I was taught everything that could be a faith rattler would would be called anti Mormon which is something I've been labeled now – which Mormons as soon as you hear the label anti-mormon you immediately know just to dismiss everything but I will tell you I met a lot of Baptists in the South growing up and they were always the ones who would tell me that I was going to hell and use and use those kinds of fear tactics so we're reckon ISM Mormonism has a secondary level of being obviously untrue because this isn't philosophy that the entire world has been fighting over for 2,000 years with events that can be caught in a question these are things that happen like last week that we know or fabrications we know the Book of Mormon isn't true because it makes a ton of claims that anthropologists would have found easily by now we know that Mormonism is false as far as as much as you can know anything because it's been demonstrated to be false and so in that way it's it is you you used the word I think you said that it you guys knew it was crazy in that regard like yes it is it is certainly more bananas than than other religions however the audacity of people in certain other religions can be more was more shocking to me growing up Mormons are plenty audacious they're literally going around they're sending eighteen-year-olds door-to-door to tell people that they know the secrets of the universe and they have the audacity and the arrogance to call those eighteen-year-olds elder hmm and that like we if you're if you're a fun if you're an independent baptist if you're outside of that like Methodists are probably our our closest allies other than them everybody else in the religious world is going to hell like it doesn't happen right if if if you're not if you're not like white old and you know how to make potato salad on Sundays you're going to hell in some some fashion I it's funny because when I moved from because eventually when I was like 15 I moved from the Independent Baptist to the Southern Baptists because I had a friend that went to a more contemporary church and they had a like and it's like a youth group that went places like like camp casual and would do like fundraisers where you go door-to-door and you sell like Donuts I don't know I remember that it was the worst it was the worst thing going door a door and having to knock and be like we're selling these these donuts but then we had a like a witness thing that we had to do so it's like you can't even get annoyed to buy the donuts without going through a deal yeah I love that we both for the same word but here's let me tell you the scariest moment of my life I was my friend me and my friends who were going to this Southern Baptist Church and we had a third friend and they were having some sort of like I think they were they were in a play they had like a starring role in a play it's it's all like so traumatic that it kind of blurs together but anyway um he went to a Pentecostal church now if you had to like take Baptists and put them on one end of a spectrum when look to the completely opposite end that's where the Pentecostals are Baptists are terrified of Pentecostals terrified because they're everything that Baptist's aren't like everything so I had I had very very very very very very very like Oh weary of going like and the my friend was like it's important la blah blah so I agreed to go now the the the play thing went off the preacher said some some words and I'm like okay you know what this isn't so bad like there's not you know it's not like what I what I heard that it was and Baptists have this thing called the altar call I don't know if you have it in in Mormon knows but at the at the end of a SERP you know at the end of a sermon they open up the altar so if you are burdened by anything if you want to get saved you make your way down to the the altar and you kneel and you either pray or you have there's always these guys that come and they're always so sweaty too but they come and they wrap their arm around you and they're like you know are you ready to give your life to the Lord sort of thing so the the preacher at this Pentecostal church says okay we're gonna have an altar call and I'm like okay it's over now Baptist altar calls last probably about 15 to 20 minutes at the end this altar call lasted an hour and a half and I kid you not as soon as he said altar call there were people that were running up and down the aisles a lady brought out a tambourine and was banging it in the at the aisle and then people started speaking in tongues now I've never heard anyone speak in tongues before ever and so you have all of these people act like they're it's like they're having a I don't know I don't know how to describe it like they're making these noises that I have never heard before and so I look at my friend who is also another Baptist and he's just as freaked out as I am in we're on the second row of this church now the first row has already stood up in the pastors coming along down the aisle and he's going up to each person and he's putting his hands on their head asking them like what what they need to give up to the Lord and as soon as they say what they need to get up to the Lord down they go there's a guy back behind them to catch them and down they go they lay out in the middle of the aisle now they're getting close to me right they are there are a couple people down this pastor is coming and I can I can feel it like I'm gonna be put in a predicament where I am either going to have to be the one person that stands is still standing when this pastor moves on obviously and then the rest of the congregation's gonna hate me or I'm gonna have to act like I am filled with the Holy Spirit and fall over now right which would you things you think that I did oh I imagine that you but the the thing that I wonder is whether or not you are truthful about what you needed to give up and if when they said what do you need to give up to the Lord if you said nummy-nummy Dix but I don't think so but I think he fell back remember what what I said but I did I fell back and it wasn't even the the the the the pathetic thing about it was it wasn't even a fallback like once I got to where he was lowering me to the ground I sort of just sat on my like my ass it was sort of like a half lay out and sit down so obviously people could still tale that you know yeah right and not partner oh yeah I still to this day still away from Pentecostals so we don't we didn't do altar calls what we do is something called fast and testimony meaning and it's pretty much the same thing it's open mic day and it's the first Sunday of every month and instead of having the normal way it works you don't have a designated pastor you do have a bishop but the bishops the presiding authority essentially they don't actually like give a speech every week instead you usually had three sometimes four if guests had come in or something speakers that were actually members of the congregation and until recently it would specifically be like first you would have a youth person second you would have either a man or a woman in the second spot and then you would have there be a song and the final speaker was always going to be a member of the Melchizedek Priesthood so it was either a an elder or a high priest now my understanding is they recently opened that up to where now you women also can be the final speaker but for the longest time it it had to be had to end with a man otherwise isn't not how God progresses with society you know like his laws right so long all right are like you know what the next thing to fall is gonna be is and it already has been homosexuals like you know they have they have gay preachers pastors that are in like alien and and it's just always funny to me how it's a law for so long because God said so but as society goes you know what I probably should let women women's women talk in church this is probably not okay to tell them that they have to shut up right on guys like you know what I'll get behind that I was actually just this week with my dad hypothesize I was caught I caught him and was telling him which he's very reluctant to believe this cuz he doesn't think it'll ever change but I was telling him who I think of the Apostles that are currently at the Mormon Church who I think when they become in charge when their big profit on campus will reverse all of the anti-gay policies and I said I think it will begin with it won't happen all at once but it will happen rapidly the phases weapon rapidly but they'll try and get away at first we're just saying we accept gay families and gay gay families but we accept gay marriage as but we won't perform them in the temples but we will recognize you as married and you can come and you can attend church but they won't extend to them things they literally do exactly what they did to black people before 1978 it'll be you can be in the church but you can't participate in the highest callings you can't be extended the priesthood there will still be a significant difference in our eyes to your gay family versus a straight family because they're following the plan of salvation and you're not and then because that will only that'll be like oh they're making progress and they'll get kudos for a minute then people will go okay they're making progress but you're still way far off and there will actually be even heightened pressure and so a few years later it might even take another change in profit they'll just go yeah God came to us and it turns out we were you know his plan we weren't wrong in the past he it's just now time that he's saying that now it's okay you know like going back to your road like you're your brand of cringe though yeah you also believe that you're you know Mormons also believe that we get our own planet right right right well okay so consider the concept you guys gonna push the envelope it was they needed something that was more attractive than just heaven also Mormons don't like ever saying that there is some answer missing or that they don't know or whatever else Mormons generally want to give you some answer verse –is no answer so whereas most people will say something like well where did God come from then if everything asked to have an Origin where did God come from a lot of religions will say like well know their God exists outside the universe so he doesn't have to have that but Mormons came up with actually what we're doing now God once did with his own God and that God had his own God and his own God with his own God it would basically an infinite regression of gods that they said and there's no beginning to that that's just how everything has always been that way and that that cycle has never began it's there's an infinite because eternity goes both directions is is how they'll put it you ask you a question about that like what how would you answer the question if somebody came to you and said what did people do before the 1900s that that passed on and like before he had those tablets before he was able to piece together the Book of Mormon what happened to all of the millions of people up to that point yeah what happened to their yeah yeah this is what they think we're doing during the millennia basically all of the people who when you die you know okay so so imagine a you hear a knock at the door you open the door and there are two Mormon missionaries well that's pretty much what if you didn't join the Mormon Church that's what happens to you after you die you go to something called spirit prison and you start taking the missionary lessons from other Mormons and then at some point somebody will be baptized via proxy for you now we don't know the names of everyone who ever lived so during the millennia basically we'll get that list and they'll do proxy baptism so right now when a Mormon goes to the temple and they go and they get baptized on behalf of someone who has died they believe so after I die because I won't be considered a member of the church anymore especially since I'm planning to resign this year as part of a charity event I said I'm still technically on the records but when I die I will go to spirit prison probably my grandpa is who my dad thinks it'll be it would be that when I die I'll go to spirit prison and my grandpa will come and tell me all the truth and I'll learn all the truth of Mormonism even though I already know the whole fucking religion back and forth I'll learn all the truth and then at some point which it'll have to be after I've been dead for at least a year is the minimum I think somebody in my family will go get baptized and they will use my name instead of their own name when they're baptized and so the person will say i baptize you jimmy alexej ames alexander snow in the name of the Father and the son of the Holy Ghost and but it will it won't be actually me and at that time I will be given the opportunity to leave spirit prison and become a ghost missionary myself okay so what keeps someone from baptizing evil people nothing because they do that Hitler has been baptized in the Mormon Church everybody no matter what no matter what I yeah by proxy I should mention okay so what's the clip that out maybe that in Mormonism nobody is above redeem ability everybody has the chance to at least go to the lowest form of heaven and whether or not they can go to the highest form of heaven is unclear to because they believe that you are held accountable to what you knew so if if basically within Mormon there is no reason that Hitler can't become a god and and have the highest form of exaltation not only has Hitler been baptized by proxy for he's been baptized by proxy for more than a dozen times so has n Frank so in other words they'll do the whole spectrum who who did this like who said I'm who had them who had the balls and golf yo I'm going to baptize by proxy fucking Hitler you know it almost certainly happened in like a southern temple where a bunch of there's a lot of races and stuff and so people would say no well we it's it's not all right to judge we just have to do the work that God told us to do so we're gonna do the baptism and God will figure it out on the other side I'm not here to question God if God doesn't want him to leave spirit prison I'm not gonna I'm not breaking him out anyway could you get back to calling me Adolf Hitler and giving me a bath I've got to I've got to take this opportunity for the second time in the same show to apologize to someone and that is going to be to my former pastor because I used to say that he did nothing but lie to me and other people that is not true when he said that Mormons were absolutely crazy and that we should not believe he was telling the truth this is look ok ok you have to understand you grew up in it so you were immersed in it it's what you knew right like it's a different side from the outside anybody that says we haven't even gotten to the magic underwear yet ok we haven't even got in there sure but we we've tackled the the rocks in the Hat the shooting at the jail the golden tablets the planet that you get and now we are tackling baptizing Hitler and we haven't touched on the magic underwear or that Jesus and Satan are brothers right right ok so first of all like whoa wouldn't we talk about looking from the outside you do have to consider true looking from the outside there's certainly a lot about fundamentalist Baptist ISM that is also bananas if anything it's almost admirable that Mormons tried to fill in the gaps because there are less likely to tell you to just not worry about it unless it's a situation of like hey here's a scientific fact that debunks Mormonism then they'll say don't worry about that that's for God to decide if anything correct I have to get back on that it is not better to attempt to fill in the gaps when you say we can we can baptize Hitler he can go to hell right right I got it yeah which margins will Mormons would the way they would defend that is say we just did the ordinance because we have to abet again they did it for it's something like 14 times but we did the ordinance because we have to that doesn't mean he actually got out of spirit prison like God will have had God we'll figure that side out that's how they would defend it even though it was almost certainly done with racist motivations and things of that nature fuck I had it there's something I was gonna Oh but to me it just as I think back on Mormonism I realize have you ever watched the show Lucifer no but I know the concept I love the show it's so good I'm right now I'm watching through the whole thing and I'm on season 3 and that's that's what they do is actually like they come up with new injections of stories like at one point you find out that his brother and in technically most Christian or a lot of Christians believe that Jesus and and Satan are brothers it's just a different way because they believe that both of them were amongst the first children of God they just don't usually word it that way like that these are brothers whereas in Lucifer they're like all of the angels that are the first of God's children are like brothers with affection for each other even though they might always be fighting and shit and at one point you find out that amenadiel as a prank on Lucifer at some point a thousand years back started the rumor about Lucifer being half of a goat and that's all it is it's just starting new rumors of like making a the story as you go along I'm gonna go I'm gonna go back to Baptist Kyle and I'm gonna argue this like I would yeah like I would have back then okay Satan and Jesus obviously cannot be brothers because Jesus didn't exist until the New Testament Satan has existed since the fall so it depends on which it depends on which version of Christianity you believe in if you believe that God and Jesus are the the right one right that the Mormons know if you believe God and Jesus are the same person then you would believe that Jesus is his heavenly form is the father of Satan if you believe that they are separate people which Mormons do Mormons believe you have God the Father and then you have Jesus Jesus his son and the other part of the guy so first of all Mormons are polytheists but they don't admit it they absolutely are polytheistic but they claim to be a monotheistic because they only worship with the one God the most meanwhile you have polytheistic pagan religions who don't certain ones that don't that have they have multiple gods none of which they actually worship but our polytheistic for acknowledging the existence of multiple gods Mormons don't understand what the phrase actually means so Mormons are Mormons not only are they polytheistic they're actually polytheistic in worship also not just in in acknowledgment of multiple gods or rather not quite acknowledgement so much as assertion but yeah so it depends on on whether or not you think Jesus was an angel or or or God himself Mormons believe he's the literal son of God they also have they also believe God is a physical human man with a penis like body blood bones and a wiener he's they think he's a sex yeah he is a bio male his sex is male and that he it it has an actual body like it it is all bananas in fact the whole thing with Satan's rebellion what they believe happened is God God wanted to do a plan of salvation for all of his children and he went to his two first sons and his first sons were Jesus and Satan Lucifer or what Samael or whatever word he would have whatever name he would have gone by in in heaven at the time and basically was like hey who has the plan and they were like we have plans and in the in the Jesus version Jesus was going to save all of mankind but give all of the glory for doing that to God where Satan was gonna save mankind by the way the actual details of the plan Satan's plan was better but he was worse because he said I want the glory at the end of the day I the credit for it because I'm the one down there doing it and that that is why God decided Jesus and so Satan got mad and rebelled and there was a war in heaven and one third of the Angels left with Satan basically to hell well I'm gonna give you I'm gonna now school you in how God has actually set up his kingdom and not this these three individuals bullshit yeah okay now follow follow me here okay God isn't good all right right you have the Father the Son and the Holy Spirit yeah the father is not the Holy Spirit the son is not the father the Holy Spirit is not the Son right father is God yeah the son is God the right spirit is God that make sure somebody drew this on a whiteboard in your church at some point in front of you what you just showed was an absolute diagram that I'm positive was a part of a lesson am I wrong that is actually what they yeah that's a literal like I'm not joking I went through the I went to the Southern Baptist just to make sure I got it right I went to the Southern Baptist said he found it yeah yeah don't understand how exactly how that is that how they teach it like this right here and you know what people fucking buy it people argue to to the to the like the death over this like what does this chart even mean yeah if you replace these words like if you say this in the middle is a dog right and then you say rabbit horse and cow it's like saying the cow is a dog but the cow is not a horse the horse is not a chicken yeah chicken is the dog right you get it no easy they don't understand how transitive property actually works to we've had all night people are trying to raid I don't think anybody in the live chat actually sees it because links have to be approved every time but we've had porn channels trying to raid every couple minutes and send links to their porn and so the moderators are handling it but I tonight it's weird that of all nights we're getting a porn raid going on what what porn exactly all boring stuff it looks like it's all pretty sis hat there's nothing gay about any of it because they all like have names like sexy or girl you're a very pro porn show alright what I want to know is I will listen anymore Minh any member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints who has been given a position in the Church of any kind of public relations official I will gladly have on my show live to make whatever pitch to my audience they want about why I'm evil why I am wrong the things I'm saying are lies and trying discredit me as long as they are willing to first have a ten minute discussion where they are forthright and actually discuss God's penis with me I want to know God a penis I want the Church's official stance on its size on its function I want to know I want to know whether or not God is circumsized want to know the ratio of shaft to head I want to know if there's a bend in it I want to know if there's an elbow in it does it point lift does it point right does it have the seam what does it what I need to know everything I need in great detail and I'm not going to I would not exceed just say whatever the church if the church says we have no position on God's penis then I'm not going to give you my platform and allow you to use it to discredit me so if you want to get with church officials and you want to have a sustained a sustained assist Inked succinct description of God's penis I will give you a full 45 minutes the first 10 minute while the fight metro ten minute conversation of you describing God's penis and then you will have my show to say whatever you want about for from me about me for 45 minutes as long as it follows a description of God's penis that could be at least perceptively sketched out and then I'll and then and then my channel is yours I I'm not really sure how to follow up with that so just pretend like I'm saying something very witty and and yeah but we literally went in detail about demands on God's penis there for the past three minutes and I I can admit that I feel uncomfortable talking about keyboards you can say you're uncomfortable but tell me you wouldn't as soon as I announced when that conversation was happening tell me you wouldn't go to your iPhone and tell it to set an alarm for like that day and an hour ahead of time and five minutes ahead of time because you would want to see that episode live hey Alexa what's the position on that with the church on the Lord's penis marry them okay now the there's one final thing with the Mormon Church because like obviously the the the magic underwear is an obvious one so we're not actually gonna hit that one but yeah there are those that that take the Mormon faith and go this isn't crazy enough and so you then have subgroups of the Mormon Church yes that go off into the deserts and sort of create their own sort of right the lat the LDS parts the the Warren Jeffs right the you know they're often referred to the FLDS Church and they might even call himself that the fundamentalist latter-day saints or the fundamentalist church Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints the funny thing about that is is it's an unfortunate name because religious fundamentalism is still a huge part of mainstream Mormonism and it's what makes it a cult so it's it's not like it's not like how with a lot of church a lot of religions you can say like well at least they're not fundamentalists because more mainstream Mormons are fundamentalists and fundamentalism means that you believe in a literal interpretation of your holy book and that is very much how Mormons feel about the Book of Mormon even if they have mixed feelings about that regarding the Bible but yes the fundamental the fundamentalist Mormons are those who when you drive through Utah you're gonna notice a lot of unfinished big houses because then they can not pay taxes on them and things of that nature where these polygamists are all living yeah which I have no problem with polyamory or polygamy or whatever it is I do have a problem with the Mormon version of it because it is a full it's a full sub Dom thing but without choice I mean it is lots of lots of girls are married to men they are assigned their marriage there is no choice in it it is also that the man is the authority in the house if you disagree with him and he says well you're wrong and I'm saying do this you have no level of choice you don't have an ability to divorce or separate or things of this of this nature so it's someone wrote God's penis is omnipresent can't you feel it inside you I'm going to answer that that question because I'm I have found a a an article that has been written that takes the stance on God's penis but before I read this yeah since we're talking about religious cringe I I don't think it's fair to lay all the the cringe yet at Jimmy's tonight and so Jimmy I've actually sent you a link to a video that when we close out the show it's sort of like the butthole preacher thing that we need to go through to show people and this is it's part funny it's part like shocking part like you're not gonna believe this if you haven't seen it before but this is a this is gonna be a sold-out place that that is eating this stuff up and what you're gonna see is going to just floor you like when I every time I see this and I've seen it 900 times it is unbelievable but this is a whole episode on this remember no we were going to it we never did no we didn't talk we talked no we did we did an episode of ad hominem an oh yeah yeah we definitely did yeah okay well either way the the the audience is like the it's it's they're all strong again of it no I'm just gonna do like I want to show the the heighth of religion but here's okay so this is the progressive Christian it's a they write an article on Paseos okay I'm gonna read their stance on God's penis and the pelvis article is God but he not God does not have a penis he doesn't have one so it says you see that would not be the Mormon position on it just so we're clear I was talking about the Mormon position Mormons believe he has a fully anatomical bio male body okay well this is gonna I guess this is gonna take a more mange you know like it is what they say here's the deal God is not male God is not female God does not have a gender they use the pronoun he for several reasons one because we don't want to call God and it God is a person and therefore has a personality so I know you know they if God's not but sure we got that covered let's use those pronouns God made us in His image and then we return the favor by making God into an image that reflect our selves unfortunately the common use of he refers to God create still the illusion that God is male but that is not the case he is a spirit he's not male female and then it goes it babbles on about Genesis and why you can't attribute male or female traits to this because the Bible has examples of both the writer of this article is the author of several books including Jesus untangled he is also the co-founder of Pacific Fight Club and co-host of The Heretic happy hour podcast well anyway Mormons believe there is a wiener and I want to know all about it that's what I'm saying here and these are nice stance on it like for real like they won't they won't talk about the site one thing a lot of Mormons don't know too is that early Mormon doctrine suggests that God has sex with his many wives like actual physical sex penis and vagina kind of thing and that God first of all we not only have a Heavenly Father we also have heavenly mothers also because God is also a polygamist wouldn't you though if you were God like if you created and you knew because you know everything how wonderful sex was like wouldn't you have sex with mini water you know sure why wouldn't you why would you make this and then go I don't know if I would share something so nice with my imperfect creations though like if you're God you have to be able to create something better than sex you're gonna give them you're gonna give humans the best thing that you came up with I can't believe that I'm sitting here scrolling through Google with the search the Mormon Church position on God's penis like yes is literally what we should let's get started with that let's get started with the super chat responses because we only got a few minutes left here so we're gonna move to super chats people like to leave at this point don't because we still have more conversations coming and if you want something read out on the air make sure you hit that super chat button because that is that's that's how this happens Arielle Ansell says as per usual I'll be listening at work still wanted to throw some support your way keep being awesome you got yours up and ready to go they're coming right now rj says good to see you back it's good to see you back RJ guess who's back back again where'd my mods go there's lots of things needing approval okay spoons down gave me a couple of hearts a couple of hearts back at your spoons down Brandon Heath Shaw says please wish me a shawl a happy 12th birthday we always enjoy your show from Atlanta Georgia well Mia happy birthday and I hope that it is the best one that you have had thus far and here's to many more and I'm sure that you have obviously the people that are sending you this birthday wish and myself included you are surrounded by loved ones and I just hope it's a very special day for you Brittney's for 795 says is there a live schedule I keep missing them it's always Saturday and Sunday evenings obviously occasionally they get cancelled but as far as its it's never earlier than four o'clock mountain time and it's never later than 9:00 o'clock mountain time it's rarely as late as nine o'clock like right now the fact that the show is going into nine o'clock mountain time is is already bananas people I think people probably expect that Jimmy and I have this like awesome formula for how this show works like well we we all week long were just were ready working away at the content that we're going to do yeah you can't can we expose like how we do what actually happened today yeah yeah yeah just tell them any day yeah you need to like here's what here's what we do yeah own on Saturday maybe Sunday we'll decide what time we're gonna show and one of us will send a message to the other saying what are we talking about yeah the other one will usually reply with let me think about it yeah and probably within three hours of the show starting we have actually when you see the event go up on YouTube that's when we have decided what the right the topic is going to be today we were a little ahead of the game like this morning at around I think it was around 9 a.m. I to 80 on my time I was like hey live show tonight can we do it a little bit later in the evening and you sent back yeah and then you said what do you what are we talking about and I said I I don't know what do you want to talk about and you said let me think about it and then around noon I think I sent you a message saying why don't we just share cringe stories and then you were like yeah that works for me and then before we got on the air we were talking about like do you have any ideas not really not really and it was like honestly we only had to pick a subject to have a title it's not like it's not like they're even planning to stick to it here's how the conversation went Jimmy said any thoughts on topic I said I'm thinking even said want a riff on each other and just discuss cringy things we did we heard when religious but how many hours of parts was that message to the one before it was like three hours later the Rif do you want to riff on each other yeah yeah yeah it was actually it was it was two and a half hours later yeah and then you said let's call it something like religious religion made us cringe and I said love it and then that's it and then then we got on here and he mentioned airfryer's and i lost my shit and I was like up I'm not even gonna tell you this now or when we start the show I will I will unload about these these fucking airfryer's yeah that's yeah that's the UH that's the formula that's that's how long that's how we roll let's do this why don't you read your next one while I pull up that Twitter poll so I can give people the results as they stand so far yes last one you Hannah Adair said that jared leto is still the worst joker ever check out me very good podcast.com slash Horan raw you knew this was coming yes I did and it's totally fair to plug whatever you want when you super checked and yes Jared Leto is the worst Rogue River I agree so right now we are at seven hundred and six votes regarding how many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches people have had in their life 17% either have had none or just wanted to see the results less than a hundred people had 23 that was 23% of the vote was less than 100 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches 45% nearly half of the people have had between a hundred and one and five thousand of them and only 15% are with me so far on having had more than 5,000 of them so that that poll is still up for another day or so if you all want to go in and and play with those numbers I actually will have more peanut butter and jelly related polls this week so make sure that you find that you go to Twitter and follow me at dear mr. atheist how are you Jimmy twenty-nine I had to think about it I'll be 30 in March very exciting time to be alive to be 30k Teterboro Bush says love your content Thank You Heather Maas thank you bad day says have my free money goth pink cat meow says do you prefer the title fat Jesus or pumpkin King I like both but porque no los dos why not the fat pumpkin Jesus King f pjk everybody Heather Maas it is illegal in Ohio to harpoon for Wales on Lake Erie on a Sunday are there whales in Lake Erie have there ever been it is that something that happened somehow that's amazing that's amazing Maya Chan have my two premium cents love from Mexico well thank you very much love to Mexico Aspen cosplay who is a friend of mine Kyle being an overachiever baptized twice I almost said twice that's my my childhood impediment trying to work its way back in Android on mute cafe Android on mute says when I was Mormon a friend asked why people are so concerned with revealing clothing I said it's because it might make others have bad thoughts I was a real piece of crap back then yep that's part of it yeah there's also the like so it's different the way they approach it with those they identify as men and those they identify as women it there's a difference to it too and the approach and a lot of the a lot of people who are being raised in like the young woman's program will be told modesty is also about self-respect and virtue and all this stuff and that basically this body belongs to God and your future husband and yeah it's all a bunch of it's all but shit buddy boo cell thank you mister atheist God is 18 so if you'd like some pagan cringe to review in the future I'm pagan it's cool look into the frosts cringe eeeh stand most horrifying thing i came across on my journey from Wicca to general paganism big oof I'm gonna be doing some some general pagan collabs coming up with ocean Kel toy and I'll ask him about that John do you things real quick Jimmy Cameron Jones sinister Bush out my message thank you very much and so did Vandy hello Vandy here's a question Jimmy if you had to say like rough estimate how many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that you've had in your life where would you ballpark that big hmm my guess is it I don't think it's as high as 10,000 but I think there is a good 10 years that I had it every day and then beyond that that I had it most days for another five to ten years I probably put in the somewhere in the in the six to eight thousand range okay were you taking that somewhere I thought I was I thought you were setting something up I'll get back to you okay all right all right you're gonna draw me that many sandwich me just in a bed of sandwiches keep it numerically accurate Ali thank you Sarah Gardner your hair is the pinnacle of beauty today well thank you I think you really showered moments before coming on air I actually really did like your hair today by the way Kyle I think it looks there's something particularly I think you added some color to it and I like to the shape just sudden you know it I notice it's it's it's it's highlights maybe it's Maybelline the blue dragon seven seven Thank You D Dolph a Highland Daddy I'm a Wiccan and seeing you helps me so much in defending myself from people who try to bully me also love your channel so much that is that's amazing to hear and totally something I never saw coming I never saw when I started mr. atheist that I would become a resource not just for pagans and Wiccans but also for I didn't see myself as being a gr SM activist through my channel it was always important to me privately but the fact that it's it's become such a everything about my channel I never saw coming pyro Spartan 1 1:7 says i baptize you a doff elizabeth hitler lols yeah it's and somebody stood in somebody stood in him 14 at least people have stood in and been called Hitler in Mormon temples Adolf Hitler was a novice middle name really Elizabeth that's the easy right I think you had a middle name Adolf Hitler middle name I I love the idea of emasculating him because that's by the way that means that you consumed on average 276 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches a year oh definitely yeah definitely at one time in my life it was it was actually probably 300 and something bigger there were days where I had double plus starting around seven years old I started doing a triple-decker where you put a piece of bread in the middle and then around 11 or 12 years old the way I actually did my triple decker the original way was jelly on one bread peanut butter on another and then he put a piece spread in the middle and he stick it I actually was making basically three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches after about 12 because I would put peanut butter and jelly and then on the back of one of the pieces of bread more peanut butter and jelly on another piece of bread its I the perfect food only people from the South are gonna get this but my sandwich of choice growing up and still today is minto cheese my grandma made the best preventative she's generous yeah I know a lot of people like peanut butter variations I never really liked peanut butter and banana peanut butter and honey is okay but I feel like more than it does add a little sweetness to the flavor but I didn't like how what what it did to the consistency so much but I'm gonna be asking I'm not gonna give it away now but I'm gonna be asking people what they paired their peanut butter with on their sandwiches on a future poll this week and the options are going to be either grape or strawberry jelly which is not neither of those or the jellies I my favorite jelly but it used to be great either grape or strawberry jelly will be one option bananas and other options honey and other options and then a general other option mister atheist yeah how can you not believe in the Wonder and all of God when he created I mean look at the great mister atheist it can be a nightmare it can become a raisin it can become jelly that you consumed for some years how can just one thing be all of these things if not for the glory of God wine is gross and so are raisins sebastien thank you had not a fan of either of those things Corbin Sullivan I love you guys here is my first or here is my free super chat well thank you very much another thank you to Sebastian who said can this be a bribe for a video on the Satanic temple I am NOT interested in what the Satanists believe about Jesus's being or God's penis Jesus is too I'd be interested in hearing about also though I want to know I want I want specific answers from the Mormons Melissa layman keep up the awesome work Thank You art and Everett another another lovely person in friend of mine and she has a new channel where she's talking about trans and atheist issues as well she says all that talk about God's manly bits has me flush I am shook ahthe also Todd s please comment on Owen Benjamin worse than Massa there is lots of stuff on par if not worse with Massa coming in the near future but we still have to get past the make America straight again conference a stuff as well and activist mommy we got to talk about her more to she's the worst every time I hear somebody say that it it to me it brings up a racial connotation like it yeah right I have to I have to stop and and realize what you're talking about right yes say that right right yeah no I know what you mean Kinsey selvage Thank You Heather Moss is it cringe that I had a gun pulled on me when my JH granny took me on service when I was nine I'm not sure what JH is did you mean JW yeah I don't Jehovah's Jehovah's hopefuls Jehovah's Jehovah's hos Jehovah's homies are you one of Jehovah's homies yeah Trotsky thank you alexander baranov thank you for making me think about Yahweh's eggplant you're welcome Trotsky says check out my song preach beef alright Trotsky I will do that Beth if I ever make it to the States from New Zealand can I hang out with you both drink fruitloop beer and talk about anything other than God's junk much love probably fruit light beer yes I think I think they were asking about Barry Weiss here's the thing with me and socializing I don't and I thought about recently being like hey this weekend I'm gonna be at such-and-such coffee shop or whatever for anybody who wants to meet up and so I put out a poll and let me explain to you the results of that poll let me go find it real quick first I'm gonna read I'm gonna read these last these go ahead – why you found that on you you and Roderick says the banana is God's greatest creation as what's-his-face detailed long the time ago that is definitely a big contender and rots suoi I hope I'm saying that right right so I got some energy sandwiches Matsui yeah pimento cheese sandwiches are sacred and holy so I asked this I asked how many of you all are near enough to southern Denver area that would be interested if I did a meet-up and I was expecting even when I got full of myself I was like maybe I need a venue that if if as many as a hundred people showed up I could be prepared for that 16,000 people responded and nine percent of you are inside are close enough to southern Denver wanting to attend so let's just take that number real quick and times that by point zero nine that's 1,440 people and that's only that's not even ten percent of my entire subscriber base responding so I should explain to you I will not be doing any social events I will not be I think that is that is terrifying to me I'll hang out with you darling I'm absolutely there there so the answer is maybe especially if at that point I am doing events but I am I I don't socialize with the people I know in real life as far as going out for a drink and stuff also I don't drink so there's that too so I'm not trying to I'm not trying for this to come up come off is just like sheer rejection but I don't want to get anybody's hopes up that they will ever spend time with me in public unless they happen to run into me just come on down to North Carolina I I'll hang out with you I have two questions one really quick Jimmy yeah did you get your did you get your scooter I did and I returned it because it's uh after about ten minutes it slowed down to like 15% speed and I think that I was just basically because I was only right at the limit for weight and so I'm going to get a different one I still had fun in the short time I had it but I'm researching a new one sis frito Serbia says psychiatrist a psychiatrist has a patient who says I have no meaning no purpose and my intentions mean nothing I'm an atheist what should the psychiatrist say well that's a very interesting question but the the no meaning no purpose and no intentions has nothing to do with right the Atheist part atheist is just a descriptive word that it's describing your stance on what you believe in the argument of God in the sight of God debate whether you think one exists or not it has zero to do with the hopelessness feeling or anything like that those are gonna be caused by something inside of that the atheist part is just where they fall along in terms of if they believe God exists around yeah why is your psychiatrist handling something that's totally not related to psychiatry which is atheism what were the three things though I no intentions no meaning no purpose and my intentions mean nothing yeah I have more meaning and more purpose than I ever have in my entire life and I'm currently an atheist than any time I was religious and my intentions being meaningless I would say that people's intentions behind their actions mean a lot more than anything we have to consider our impacts especially people who are public figures and have an audience we have to think about that but intentions behind actions pretty much the world so I don't know what I don't know what the fuck I feel like somebody was trying to trap you as though we were gonna be like oh my god they're right I don't know so one atheist must claim God does not exist well I wonder who heard that from we're gonna plead the fifth on that one clicked on that was I I got the I got the the joke yeah very nice wait I will make the statement I lack a belief in God and I suspect I will even go so far as to say that I believe that any God that I have been presented with there is adequate evidence to believe they don't exist but my lack of a belief in God is general and I withhold belief until it's been proven and I describe that as being atheist that's what I'm gonna say but Beth again thank you for the you know you can always try but I'd hate for you to come to Denver for the purpose of hanging out with me if you come to Denver come for the weed and if I'm around I'll stop by ELISA Kyle does the word air crisper work would you be okay with air crisper yeah I like that okay that that I can yeah very good very good I actually do I actually do prefer fryer because they are trying to establish this as an alternative to deep-frying but that's just me oh you you just want to fall we learned last time we had a show with the the robots thing you just want society to crumble anyway so of course you're gonna want to call it an air fryer what does it matter then sex robots boobies in disguise I don't know what I was going with there k what about those with allergies you left out an option unless I missed it so technically the none that you've had no peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I would assume that that works with the allergies things too but I only can put four options so somebody's gonna be up snot someone's gonna be not represented I'm very sorry Dalton mystery lurking to the pole yeah that's true miss show went to an art show today that was beautiful in G RSM affirming Jimi would err what are your opinions on telling friends from church that you rarely see you our LGBTQ affirming / ace and spiritual not Christian I'm a big fan of everybody being there unapologetic self so whatever you are share that with people if there are parts of that that are open to debate like spirituality or something I like it when people are open to those conversations but not if it's somebody like I'm not saying you have to be open to someone who comes in immediate with an attack but if you tell me for example that your spiritual but not Christian I'm going to ask follow-up questions and try to try to find out if you mean spiritual in a supernatural sense or if you're talking about some deepen state of consciousness or something like that yeah be yourself that's what I'm always about CFP you Cassie Thank You Christian Linehan thank you Guidry hey haven't been around much mama Guidry passed last Sunday missed you guys I don't want to waste my moola on candy so I give it to thee you know that really really sucks that that you are going through a loss of a mother and if you I fully endorse you buying lots of candy and you think that as a method of escape because using sweets to escape real life is kind of my brand I'm pretty grossed out by the following thing that I'm about to say out loud and I am gonna be interested to see where you follow this Heather Moss says I was raised on peanut butter and mayo sandwiches no black one says what are you sorry darling I'm pretty I'm pretty upset right now Plex Wan asked what did you what are your ideal PB&J proportions mine is really heavy on peanut butter very light jelly jelly is a condiment it's supposed to be light I also like heavy peanut butter but I will do I want enough of a layer of jelly that you're not just staining the bread I I want an actual like layer of jelly on top of it so you're not you you don't see the texture of the bread through so I'm not heavy on the jelly but I wouldn't say I'm light on it either Christon Lenihan thank you you don't you haven't had a lot of peanut butter and jelly so I guess you wouldn't have an ideal proportions there except to say zero if I if I had to eat peanut butter it would be it would be the chunky kind oh there was I mean like when I wasn't when I was in when I was in prison for that year there were many days where I literally had to to eat eat them so was it Uncrustables no I know those used to be really popular in prisons I I actually you know I ate I was okay with those you know even I think it's the novelty aspect of it but yeah yeah this prison PB and J's are not not good that's so sad too because they're so hard to ruin Thank You Kristen Lenihan Arcadia game says okay so I'm hello late but the first words I heard upon joining our gods penis this is why I love you Jimmy thank you I think that's the appeal of my channel to party Crenshaw Thank You D Dollface so we're in Wyoming did you go to school Cheyenne and Laramie but I'm I'm pretty reluctant to tell people which schools and things of that nature because not only do I wish to avoid daxing I also wish to avoid like I have there there's actually I didn't cover a story about some about a junior high that I went to because I have a brother who actively goes there has autism and it was about a basically a child KKK group they were called the kid Klux Klan and I did not want my brother at the time to be targeted by them for me calling them out publicly so there's lots of considerations so I don't tell too much oh my god Tony design says peanut butter mayo banana bacon deep-fried and sprinkled with powdered sugar Ben have you ever had a fried Oreo or fried Twinkie oh yeah oh so good so good we also have a thing up here called the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and they do chocolate-covered all kinds of stuff and their chocolate-covered Oreos I don't know why there's so much better than other chocolate-covered Oreos but they're so good let me tell you let me give you guys two things two quick recipes they'll be the best things you've ever eaten in your life okay and they're very easy number one take an egg scotch egg right if you take an egg and you hard boil it and then you roll it in ground sausage with this laid out very thin you roll that in the ground sausage and then you wrap the bacon around that and you throw it in the oven it's not really Scotch egg it's a southern spin on it but um those are amazing number two take cantaloupe wrap the cantaloupe in bacon throw that in the oven for a until the bacon crisps on it best snack on the planet I promise you that sounds gross I guess I actually hear the appeal I cut pork out of my diet over the last year every now and then I'll break and have like maybe a little bit of bacon on a burger but that means I also have to I've also been cutting beef out so it mean I'd have to have a day where I'm like giving an exception to both but I still eat chicken chickens are adequately unintelligent for me to not feel bad about eating well actually so pigs I stopped you know I stopped eating pork because pigs are geniuses I stopped eating beef because of the environmental impact but I love chicken it's it's like the staple of my diet I can't handle that conversation oh just trying to just trying to do my part I actually worked on a ranch with pigs and I became uncomfortable with eating pork because they are smarter than dogs I like a lot yep yes and I've like I can acknowledge the fact that I'm hypocritical because I understand that like yeah I should be a vegan but oh I don't oh I don't even begin to judge you for eating pork for me it's a very personal thing that I went I became friends with pigs and now it's it would be like eating a dog even somebody else's talk to me with beef beef it's specifically that that's an environmental nightmare and we should all eat less beef and so I'm trying to do my part six frito Serbia superjet says what does homosexuality have to do with rainbows honestly I have no fucking idea I think it was something that was adopted and it's uh you know we like it and actually actually here's why yeah God sent a rainbow out over Noah after you have the flood after he killed everyone and I'm only left six people on the on the planet and that's where obviously the gay people came from from that damage because here we are and so we just adopted the UH I love that there's a meme where someone's like my favorite thing the LGBT community ever did was when we got together and stole the rainbow from God or something like that or beat God for the rainbow I you know I think it's kind of obvious though I you know that the that nice color spectrum we're talking about a spectrum of sexuality and color and I think that even before it was associated with the community that people when they would walk out they'd be like that's pretty but pretty gay also right what's gayer than a rainbow gay yeah it's just kind of intrinsically gay yeah mistress crimson 98 peanut butter mixed with wheat German honey that's interesting I try that Beth I have social anxiety – let's meet and not talk or let's not meet and talk that's actually my preference let's let's not meet but we can talk you know that's social media all that kind of stuff no I get what you're saying I'm working on it part of mine's also wrapped up a lot of my chronic illness the chronic illness can be triggered by anxiety and the chronic illness can trigger anxiety it's cyclical and it's it's shitty Thank You deke P twice Loie Fletcher thank you mrs. Smith Anthropy how did you handle your social anxiety during pride for me even idea of going cause nausea even though I didn't want to go the day beforehand I got a hotel room and I first without having people around and staff got acclimated to there I got a hotel extremely close to pride and basically just kept reminding myself that at any point I can go there I can be alone I could isolate also I kept my room freezer temperatures I don't know what it is about cold air but breathing cold air is extremely good for my that's exactly many steps get tequila tequila I don't drink Savannah Cracow Cracow scoffs if you remember me my last name is Krakowski z– I'm sorry Krakowski Savannah Krakowski z– I do vaguely remember trying to say that name before almost done here I think yep Thank You Rd Crenshaw Thank You lo e Fletcher ELISA sorry my name is pronounced ELISA oh okay hi ELISA I'm mad at your parents for spelling it ELISA but it's good to meet you ELISA that's like I I dated a girl in high school who was named Hana but it was spelled Hana Hana I'm Keely that reminds me of a key and Peele sketch that I love ba-lakay Nicole grace thank you and that's if if you've ever wondered what in Marco Polo when dr. Bowen from Digital Hammurabi is in our Marco Polo chat if you ever wonder what he's referencing when he says those like really funny pronunciation of names it's that key and peele sketch trotsky's someone sneezed on me and i became by caught the gay they probably sneezed on you under a rainbow you do have to have both conditions undead mouth I'm currently working on a series about Tommy McMurtry but I'm losing motivation any tips yeah watch more you'll get pissed off and then you'll get motivated ladies here again yeah yeah lady Vera man Mira ven it's not a good service until granny runs five laps around the purse in a Holiness Church otherwise people start gossiping about the preacher right because they weren't able to preacher wasn't able to pull out the the spirit enough all right that is where we leave you Kyle has some motivational tips to help you get through the week and then that's the end of the show just seeing nine-to-five by Dolly Parton don't by airfryer's until they change the damn name and you Hannah Roderick says that my grandpa used to make me peanut butter and jelly sandwiches my grandfather loved them as well so my actually and my grandpa used to put peanuts in a coke but the the glass coke bottles anybody else like relatives do that without cocaine people I know like the coke the coke would be in there and then put the peanuts um that is odd did he like did he finish eating oh yeah someone says Jake where are you at Jay Quellin I love that sketch so much key and peele is amazing oh one last one here pranced hello hello Ellie Oh Hannah the way you said she called herself in Japanese means flower it's spelled the same the way you said she called herself in Japanese means flower it's spelled the same ELISA is that what you're talking about I thought flower in Japanese was Sakura no that's cherry flower or cherry blossom there right yep and Bella Allen says bye sky sky daddy goodbye everyone working nine to five in and add to that did it oh man I can't feed squirrels meth and don't drink pink beer no oh I have a last one Oh Ryan Bonnie says thank you so much for what you guys do I was told I'd burn on hell and suffer for my sexuality and being a green witch you guys make me feel like I belong for Who I am I don't know what a green which is but I'm glad that we are inclusive of your identity nah I'm gonna stick with that Dolly Parton is an angel violin are you

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