– Truly I say unto you, whoever welcomes one of these little ones in my name might be letting in a murderer or a drug. Let’s get her to a
detention center, you know, until we can figure out what’s going on. I was hungry and you
gave me something to eat. I was thirsty and you gave
me something to drink. And behold, now I’m all lazy and entitled. You shouldn’t have done that. Do unto others as you suspect they might want to do unto you. What is a man profited if
he gain the whole world, but lose his soul? A lot, he is profited a lot. One soul for the whole world?
That is an amazing deal. Why do you look at the speck
of dust in your brother’s eye, but ignore the plank in your own? Because of… – Her emails. – Yes. If a man strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him and shoot
him, that is the law. If you want to be perfect,
go, sell all the possessions that you have and give the
money to a solid mutual fund. By this they will know
that you are my disciples, that you say Merry Christmas! Christ, Christmas! That’s my name in there
and I put it in there because I wanted it in there so we could all celebrate
big boy Jesus birthday time! OK? OK. – Rabbi, rabbi. Surely you can heal me.
– My child, of course I could, but
who would pay for it? – What, I don’t understand. I don’t have any money.
– Yes, it’s a sad story, but it does not make me responsible. It is super duper easy for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The richer the better, really. Maybe get a solid gold
house just to be sure. Love your neighbor as yourself, unless you are better than your neighbor. Then tell them that they’re weird and you do not want to bake them a cake. You have heard it said, thou
shalt not commit adultery, but I say to you any man who
looks upon a woman with lust in his heart should go ahead
and do what he’s gotta do. – Lord, your followers grow hungry and we have only this fish and bread. – Oh, sweet. – Boo.